Poet's Corner - N.N
Indian Stars! - N.K
Fool's Paradise - N.NShort Story – My Bullet
Her astonishment was beyond expression. The blood drained from her face, making her look pale and sickly the sight of her losing control in this manner was too much for me. I loved her so much, that I knew. Ever since I set my eyes upon her, there was this feeling in my inner self. But she was the wife of my best friend, married to him for three years now. They had loved each other and their marriage was a success, but it was this that tore me apart. I wanted her, I loved her and I needed her love. But these feelings of mine I kept to myself. I could not ruin her marriage for she was very happy in it. But who feels for me? My sufferings I bear alone. Even she does not realize my true feelings for her. How could she, when I keep them well guarded? Now she stands alone, facing the fact that her husband was killed. He had died last night and today I bring the hard news. Oh! Jane, open your heart, let me come in… and help you shoulder your burdens. I felt desperate, I wanted to touch her hand, and show how much I care, but this was not the right time. She is going through the most difficult situation a wife would face. Especially a young wife, for she is not yet twenty. But I can look after her, I am independent and economically secured. in many ways, it’s I that deserves her. Her husband was only a normal salesman, a very ordinary guy unlike myself. I sometimes wonder at having associated such inferior people like her husband – true we were best friends, but what does that matter, he is dead, gone and I am left with my love.
She is delicate, innocent and dependant. She does not shed tears yet. I watch her move about the room, her steps are light and quick. Her hands touching her face, almost covering her face from my inspection. I hardly know what she will do now. After the funeral, things would turn back to normal and then the right time would arrive for my role. I must be careful, not to hurt her. The right words will do. I have to reach her step by step slow and steady. A rough wind could blow the buds away; I will enter her heart, so that she will love me, more than she did anyone else.
There is silence all around. The clock ticks away, unconcerned of worldly worries. Her shoes make slight tapping sounds as she walks about slowly. She wipes her eyes and looks out. I look out too. The police arrived and she hurried out. I followed fast behind her.
My heart thumped, it almost knocked my breath out of me. I folded my hands over my chest, standing a few steps away from her, I watched all that happened and heard all that was said. I felt sweat in my fingers and my whole head was in flames. ‘Murder’… I heard them say. Sobs broke from her, weak sobs and she shook her head from side to side. It was her husbands jacket, license and wallet, they handed the few belongings to her, and asked her to visit later to see about the body. And to arrange the funeral. Everything was said quietly, showing respect and condolence. The police left and she remained standing, watching till they turned the corner. I watched her from the back, I stared at her. My lips were now dry. ‘Murder’ they said, ‘shot dead’. Would they find out that it was my bullet? What would she do, if they did?
Always Yours (continued)
Hyden left the office feeling very low and disappointed. His meeting with Jaqy did not turn out as he wished. It was actually not money that he wanted, nor more work. It was Maggy that he wanted, all for himself as his wife. Instead, he just ended up being overloaded with the new project. Why couldn’t he confront Jaqy with the truth? He had meant to, but at that moment, he failed. He was not sure of himself. It made him restless because what he wished and wanted was all in confusion. At the end of the day, he waited for Maggy, lost in thoughts and alone at home in their room. She was late as usual these days. “Of course, it is the work!” Hyden scorned. He felt angry and miserable. He did not want nurses for his little girl; he could not stand that. It is his wife’s duty. That is the work she should be doing. He lived in his wife’s house and felt dependent. He got wages from his sister-in-law, or so it seemed; it was all the same; he was a loser in life. He heard Maggy’s voice downstairs.
“Mam, is Jaqy home?” Hyden felt dejected. Even his wife gave him second place.
“She was in a moment ago,” that was Mrs. Kauffman’s voice, ‘…she was mad at you Mag.”
“I know, but I was waiting for the right time. I wanted it to be a surprise. It’s settled now, anyway,” Maggy said, “Jaqy bets it’s going to be another girl.”
Maggy ran upstairs. She felt weary. There was so much to do at the Hotel, it had taken all her strength. Maggy worried about the work piled at the Hotel. There was no end to it, and Jaqy was forever busy. There was no end to Jaqy working and yet she would still go on introducing new projects and plans. Sometimes, Maggy felt like quitting – cannot there be a change? To brighten up and enjoy life? Does not Jaqy think of having some fun? It seems she only works endlessly like a machine; Maggy sighed for her younger sister. She wished for Jaqy’s happiness, at least if Cavin and Jaqy got together, won’t that be some strength. Well, Jaqy likes being very stubborn and there was no use arguing with her. Maggy brushed her thoughts aside and entered her room to be with her husband. The sight of Hyden made her laugh loud. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, bent over, with his head in his hands. “Hyden, why so hunched?” Maggy could not stop herself. She threw herself alongside him and watched him sitting gloomily. He did not reply.
“What’s wrong?” Maggy was concerned. She loved Hyden so much, and was very hurt if he was upset in any way.
“Don’t bother about me,” he was harsh. He stood and went off into the verandah. Maggy’s eyes were welling with tears. She had never heard Hyden speak in this manner. She could not bear it. He was always gentle with her.
“Why are you upset, Hyden?” Maggy walked towards him, “what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Mind your business,” Hyden returned quietly, but there was anger burning within him.
“You are unwell, Hyden. Tell me…” Maggy went on begging him. She wanted to know what was bothering her husband. It was a wife’s duty.
“Stop it!” Hyden shouted at her, “… you… it’s all your fault. You, Maggy, you drive me nuts!” Hyden pointed at her.
Maggy was taken aback. She fought hard to control the tears, but they ran down in their own accord. Her hands clasped at her breast, her head was going in circles.
“I have decided.” Hyden continued, “I am going. Yes! That’s what I will do. That’s it… even to the ends of the world.. where someone will want me,” it seemed like he was speaking to himself. Only after he said this Hyden understood the meanings of those words. So was it over? Was he really going to leave his sweetheart? He asked himself. He faced Maggy.
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